Gamesmanship

Stan Musial died this week. Most baseball fans, like me, know what a powerhouse athlete he was. He was called a “gamer” in the media coverage, which meant someone who comes through when the game’s on the line. For women, this one thing—being a gamer—can help us to have great career success like Stan did in baseball.

The word “gamer” has become associated with players of video games, but the Stan Musial definition is more apt for business people. It’s an attitude—an inner, competitive drive to win when the game’s on the line. In our case the game is business, and the win is moving our careers and our companies to the next level of success.

Gamesmanship is not easy for women; I give whole seminars on the topic. We aren’t socialized this way, as men are. It comes easier for us to cooperate than to compete. It helps if we’ve played sports as a child growing up. There we learn how awesome it feels to win on a ball field, and how to take losing in stride without personalizing it.

Here’s one example of being a gamer that women have trouble with: In a business negotiation, there is a certain rhythm to the back and forth as offers are thrown out, accepted or rejected, and new creative ways are advanced to close a deal. Less is more in terms of the verbal volley. There will inevitably be that moment when you must pause, and wait. The wait can feel interminable. You must be comfortable in the silence. For some reason we have the need to fill that yawning gap of time with our words.  Doing that can crush you in a negotiation. Count to 60 (not 10 or 20—60) slowly, quietly to yourself. Keep waiting until the other party responds to you. Maintain eye contact while you are waiting.

Some gamer things women do very well, like anticipating the opponent’s next move. Pro athletes watch a lot of taped footage of the next team they’re playing so they can anticipate how the plays will go down, and to uncover the team’s strengths and weaknesses. We do this in business with thorough preparation. For example, if you are a candidate up for a promotion, preparing for the interview(s) is critical. Roleplaying what might be asked of you and how you should put your best foot forward—these are gamer moves. I have found women to be absolutely excellent in anticipating clients’ and colleagues’ next moves when the game is really on the line.

There are many other techniques to being a successful gamer, such as the art of the bluff, reading the ‘tell’ (a huge one in professional poker), and the walk away. The key to all of this is your mindset. Always know that if you lose a round, the next day you’ll probably win one. Learn from it, regroup, and go back on the field, or, if you’ll forgive my mixed metaphors, go back into the scrum. I promise that if you think like a gamer, you’ll come out of the muddy mess with the ball.